


Safe and Unspoken

by theoffbeatdrum



Category: EXO (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Mentions of Former Members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 07:19:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8003458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoffbeatdrum/pseuds/theoffbeatdrum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun was a mess when Donghae reached out to him the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe and Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> First published here
> 
> Inspired by [this pic](https://www.instagram.com/p/7VjNLNrkMX/)
> 
> Disclaimer: i have no idea what happened and how people feel and felt, this is made up  
> Warnings: sad feelings, mentions of exo going from 12 to 9

Donghae remembers it well.  
  
The empty feeling that followed him around for ages, keeping its distance when he sped up, but catching up and engulfing him when he slowed down. It is this feeling that makes him welcome Sehun into his arms when he experiences the one thing Donghae hoped, against better judgement, that he would never have to go through. He wouldn't want anyone to go through it, but Sehun reminds him so much of himself and it's almost as if he can make it up to his former self; the way he ran and ran and kept running until he inevitably ran out of breath and destinations and was left with nothing but that which he was trying to escape.  
  
It hadn't been pretty.  
  
Sehun was a mess when Donghae reached out to him the first time. A boiling pot filled to the brim with anger, confusion, despair, and, maybe worst of all, insecurity. Insecurity about himself and his future and their future as EXO. A feeling of betrayal rose with the settling thoughts. Donghae had been there to wipe the thoughts from his mind, wipe the tears he didn't notice from his eyes. Donghae was there to watch him fall apart and helped put his pieces back where they were supposed to go.  
  
Nothing was the same afterwards. Tension had filled every one of them and Sehun longed to get away, longed for a quiet that didn't cut through stone. He had found it with Donghae, who would let him be. Just be and nothing else. In retrospect, it was what Donghae himself had needed, but wouldn't allow himself all those years back.  
  
The second time it happened was as messy as the first. But, Sehun had told Donghae, at least this time they knew. They had seen it coming; the hollow of his cheeks, how thin his wrists had become, the bouts of silence, the lashing anger. They didn't, couldn't, understand, but were grateful for the heads-up. Sehun steeled himself, accused where none was needed, blamed where none was to blame. Lost himself and nearly went off-track but a collective convincing persuaded him to reroute his energy into himself, invest in himself, better himself. Donghae remembers being called by Joonmyun, informing him, pleading with him, "I said the wrong thing". Remembers the fire raging in Sehun, sparks shooting out of his eyes and offered a quiet place, somewhere away from here. They were more grateful than Sehun. Sehun, who was fed up, who was lost, who just wanted to stop hurting.  
  
The third time had none of the violent reactions the previous ones had. Perhaps it was the lack of time, there is no time for anything during promotions. There was pure resignation and this time hurt Donghae the most. It hurt to see Sehun almost expecting to be left and it struck him how Sehun suddenly seemed so much more stoic. But Donghae knew better. Knew that as soon as they would get time alone and he would reach out with his words and his fingers, Sehun's facade would slowly dissolve and there would be reluctant tears and he would spend the night reassuring. Reassuring he could push through, reassuring he would not leave, reassuring the young boy who reminds him so much of himself.  
  
Donghae isn't the youngest in his group, but Sehun is. Sehun has told him about his need to please, his need to prove himself, not being able to take care of his members the way they take care of him. How the only way he can return the favor is to lighten the load, brighten the days. There's them, them, them, then Sehun. Donghae remembers the first time Sehun realized he would not be just another hyung, another sunbae to respect, another person to please. Remembers the relief mixed in with the hesitance flickering in his eyes. How he slowly opened up his heart and let Donghae in and the words out. The things he couldn't say anywhere else and that Donghae kept safe and unspoken. On days his words couldn't find their way out, they sit quietly besides each other, nothing said and everything felt.  
  
Donghae remembers it vaguely. The empty feeling that haunted his soul, used to crash upon him and never be far gone. His emptiness will never be gone, always somewhere still around, but it's a smaller, softer hollow now. Its edges worn off by broad shoulders scraping to fit themselves where nothing was before, a bright smile dimming the spikes, quiet laughter sliding through and setting the dusk aflame.

**Author's Note:**

> i love donghae and sehun's friendship so much don't look at me
> 
> come say hi at [ask.fm](http://ask.fm/theoffbeatdrum)~


End file.
